I'm heavily contemplating the fear of relinquishing control. I'm a control freak. I don't relax. Relaxing is not relaxing for me. In fact, sometimes very stressful things are therapeutic for me. But sometimes I think just learning to relax would be a good thing.
Learning to just... sunbathe. Or just sleep.
But any time I'm supposed to be relaxing, all I can think about are the things I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not.
I wonder why I'm so scared to just chill out.
But there are definitely some interesting things I could make with the idea.
Clenched fists.
Ripped out hair.
Crumpled up pieces of paper.
It's still a fear that really takes hold of my life, and it's a lot more approachable than my fear of losing a child.
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