Although it was not a conscious thing that I was concerned about synchronicity I was hungry for Chik-Fil-A at the time. From that day on, I heard about Chik-Fil-A everywhere. Apparently the CEO died. The new guy at work used to work at Chik-Fil-A. All the kids at school eat Chik-Fil-A, which has probably always been the case, but I could definitely hear it more. I finally broke down and bought myself some Chik-Fil-A before my doctor's appointment on Thursday. Maybe now that my craving's gone, I won't see it everywhere.
I did however, think about my relationship with my best friend, Sean. It's definitely been an artistic journey. When I first met Sean, I had this imaginary friend. Sean didn't... normally look like my imaginary friend, but one day he dyed his hair and walked into class and it just... hit me. There he was, looking just like my imaginary friend. Pale skin, green eyes, and now that his hair was black, I could really see it. I decided right then and there that I was going to do everything I could to avoid Sean so that I wouldn't confuse him with someone I felt like I knew. We started running into each other everywhere. All our classes synched up. We were in the same hallways at the same time. We had lunches at the same time. I became so paranoid, I started having nightmares about him. I would wake up in a cold sweat, screaming and panting.
It turns out that we had a lot of mutual friends. I finally heard from one of my friends that he was really upset that I was afraid of him. He thought I hated him. I remember him waiting for me outside of class from time to time, trying to talk to me and get to know me better. All it really did was make me more paranoid that he was following me. It didn't help that he lived nearby and started riding my bus when he started dating a girl that rode my bus.
I felt bad that he was upset. All I wanted to do in the beginning was try not to confuse him with someone who wasn't real, but I ended up blurring the lines between fantasy and reality in other ways. I became determined to become friends with Sean and make it up to him. I started sitting with he and a mutual friend of ours at lunch. At first, I was so scared, I would shake. Sean would sometimes ask me if I was cold. Josh often served to calm my nerves enough that I felt comfortable around Sean.
At this point in my thoughts, I was done with my doodle. So when I went to Sean's house Thursday night, I asked him what it was exactly we talked about when we were first getting to know each other.
He said we talked about art. I would draw him a lot. I remember him sending me some pictures so I could get in some realism practice. I used to practice with those pictures night and day. I have complete confidence in my abilities with realism now and I owe a large part of that to Sean for being so cooperative.
(an outline for a painting of Sean I haven't finished yet)
Sean became my muse. He inspired me and he encouraged me. Through Sean I learned I have a passion for photography and have taken leaps and bounds as an artist.
But since, Sean has become something of a spiritual muse to me. Sean and I became best friends. He is my very closest friend and I can't imagine life without him. He encourages me as a person to follow my dreams. He has challenged me in life. I have a list of quotes from Sean I keep with me to help me through the day. He inspires me as a human being to stay true to myself. Through him I have learned to love myself. We have been through a lot together and those experiences have helped me to grow as a person. You can't be a successful artist with no feeling in your work.
I feel like my journey with Sean is a great example of serendipity, synchronicity, spontaneity, and surrender. And the art we make together has been going on for years and will hopefully continue for years and years to come.
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