Altered Book

What is your opinion of combining technology and the human body as she did in the video?

I think it's cool. She thinks in a way I hope to be able to someday. Her ideas are so innovative and new. She clearly has passion for her work. The world is changing and these are the sorts of things people need to consider.
What is your opinion of combining a media arts and science project with your own body?

It's brilliant. Most artist's first model is themselves. Our body is our most accessible tool. If you can't do something right, do it yourself. Your body will always be available to you and will always have your consent. 

What is identity of self in the digital world?

In the digital world, I would say that identity of self can go to extremes. On the one hand, you can pretend to be someone you absolutely are not. On the other hand, you can choose to represent yourself as purely who you feel you are. The thing about digital expression is that it is an entirely different thing from expressing yourself with your voice and body. Both have their own limitations of course. But a huge roadblock for most people is their appearance. To a certain degree, people cannot change their bodies and appearances. I will always be short. Unless some cosmetic surgery comes into play, I will always have a pronounced cupid's bow.

How will you change this book?

I ripped it up. I took off the cover. I made origami from the pages. I cut out pages. I formed pages into other things. I coloured on it. I wrote in it. I used duct tape to wrap around pages and make shapes. I blacked out words. I glued in pictures. I folded pages.
How will this book change you? 

It changed how I felt about the book. I had a very positive view of the book after the project. I don't know if I want to keep the book or not. I feel it's a pretty good representation of who I am now that the project is over. I feel like it shows my transformation from who I am to who I want to be. I have made a lot of huge changes lately and I never thought I would be who I am today. But I like myself and I think past me would like me, too.

The cover. I took off the original sleeve. I decided not to deface the cover because by the end of the project, I didn't have the same resentment for the subject matter as I did going into it. At the beginning of the semester I had a lot of nerdy guys trying to get me to leave my long time lover. There was a lot of telling me things I already knew about him. A lot of trying to convince me I was being cheated on. A lot of telling me I liked him for dumb reasons. Basically a lot of TELLING ME how MY RELATIONSHIP was. I did eventually end up leaving my lover but not for any of those reasons. Things got serious, he got scared and ran away like he always does. And I can't take that anymore. Also, he's got a growing alcohol problem and I really don't want any part of that. I'm jumping ship before that becomes my problem, too. I added an origami viking hat because I like to compare myself to things like vikings. If I had to choose one feature that I like the most about myself, it's that I'm strong. Strong mentally. Strong emotionally. I am a strong person with a strong will. I won't let the world tear me down. I won't stop being invested in people just because I get hurt. I won't stop being a loving person just because the world is harsh. I'm too strong for that. And I owe it to myself to be the kind of person I want to be.

 This page was based on my scribble project. I showed a transformation from the dark top left side to the lighter (more positive) bottom right. There are also trees in the background to represent growth.

 This was to represent my egg project. Because I wanted to nurture the egg I decided to put a duct tape heart here (even though it's ugly), because I need to nurture myself and nurture my heart.

 This was to represent my rule breaking project. It has to do with breaking the rule that I can't become a goddess. I forgot to wear the shoes to class, dammit. I'll have to drop by some time with my shoes on (when it isn't so damn cold). This sis a wing that says "I am a self-made goddess." I really love this because I feel that people have no choice to create themselves. Whatever it is I am, I made myself this way. They said I could be whatever I wanted, so I became a goddess. As a goddess, I created myself. Not physically, but spiritually.

 This page was really hard to take a picture of, I'm sorry. But it just has the letters to spell out CONTROL. I was trying to look for the word "controller" in the book since it's a book about geek dating, but I couldn't find one ANYWHERE. He says "Player One" every two sentences but no "controller"? Whatever. I like that this is a black page with just the single word. I feel like it represents the single mindedness I have about control and the void represents the fear of what would happen if I were to lose control.

 This isn't about any of the projects necessarily. Well it is, sort of. But not about a project in this class. You know, I can feel how people look at me when I talk about doing art for school. How they see me drawing and slaving away over my computer and they don't see the stress. Well, they see that I am stressed, but they can't see what's stressful about it. All my friends have these huge final tests. I'd much rather have a TEST than a whole entire COMIC BOOK DUE! I mean, I wouldn't really. Because I am head over heels in love with my comic book and it is my comic baby and I worked so damn hard to make it what it is and it's glorious. But studying for something isn't at all the same as CREATING something. When you study, everything you need to pass is already there. When you create something, you HAVE to do work. ALL THE WORK. If I didn't study for my Javascript final (and I didn't) I still walk into my class and take the final (and get a C). I still get a grade above 0, just for answering a single question right. Whether I did anything for that final or not. But you can't walk into class with nothing when you have a project due. I'm tired of getting the "it's just art" looks. Tired of reading the "it's just art" statuses. Tired of being looked in the eyes and told about how hard my cousin's high school finals are while she's laying on my cough watching christmas movies and I'm sitting in the corner of the room surrounded by empty coke cans. Drinking coffee out of one of my two giant coffee mugs. Having gone to work at 4:30am and come home at 9:30am to start working on my "just art." Which I continued to work on all day long, non-stop. Meals went by while I sat in the corner feverishly working my hands to the bone, missing out on much needed sleep. And I get to hear about how it's just art. Thankfully, my parents don't feel that way. My friends know I work hard. And so do my professors. AND SO DO I. And that's what counts.

 This page represents my identity project. This is actually something I say pretty often and have for years. It started in my sophomore year of high school. One of our spirit days the freshmen and sophomores were supposed to dress up as ninjas and the juniors and seniors were supposed to dress up as pirates. Well, I freakin' dressed up as a pirate because pirates are bitchin'. And SO many people said to me, "Are you a junior?" or "I didn't know you were a junior!" And I replied, "No, I'm not a junior. I am a pirate every day. Today is no exception." And neither is today. I am a pirate all days. As for why I'm a pirate, it's because I have an amazing sense of adventure and fashion and because I say so. My love for pirates is a part of who I am and is shown in my large collection of skull glassware. It is a large part of my identity.

And lastly, this represents my flavor project. My flavor was savory. So I decided I wanted to savor a moment. This was senior prom (we got some semi-professional pictures done) with my recently ex-lover. We did a steampunk prom. We didn't have a great time at prom. We were actually fighting when these pictures were taken. But the journey of getting the clothing and the pay off of having these great pictures and having had people oggle our fantastic outfits was great. I loved my steampunk prom even though actually being at prom wasn't all that great. And I'm glad I shared it with Sean even though I'm mad at him. I want to savor this memory because it really speaks to who I am as a person and how I make goals and go out and achieve them.

This was a really great project and I'm happy to say I feel it appropriately demonstrates my transformation over the semester.